“Ice Cream!”

— I’ve not dropped a ‘Story’ in a ‘Coons age’, so here ‘tis —

One if the most Seminal moments of my life…

Please, don’t laugh.
I’ve only been able to relate this story recently with out breaking down in tears.
It scared my little six year old soul that deeply.

It was 1968, we lived in Anchorage Alaska.
I was in the first grade.
We were doing a ‘Unit’ on ‘Native Alaskans’.
1/4 of my class just happened to be ‘Native’.
The Grandmother of an Inuit kid that I played with, in my class, was coming in to demonstrate how to make ‘Eskimo Ice Cream’.

I was so excited, I couldn’t wait for the day to come.
Momma was a waitress, Daddy was an E-5 or E-6, in the USAF. Living off the Alaska economy. The only ice cream I ate with any regularity was ‘snow ice cream’.

Snow
Milk
Sugar
Vanilla

So my big little ass was in Heaven…
ICE CREAM!!!

Then the day arrived…
His lovely grandmother showed up, wearing a ‘Native’ outfit complete with ‘Muk-Luks’.
Hot damn!!
I couldn’t almost contain myself!!!
She took out a ‘special’ large bowl.
She added the following ingredients…
I remember like it was yesterday…

Blue berries…
Black berries…
Pine nuts…
Sugar
Rose hips

Not bad so far…
Rose hips?
OK…
Then the coup de’gras…
She pulled out a big can of….
(Drum roll please)
Crisco…
Yes, Crisco…
Five heaping serving spoons of Crisco….

😪😪😪😪😪

I still have scars…

🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂

Note: Traditional ‘Eskimo Ice Cream’ was made with rendered animal fat or whale blubber.