“Hakuna Matata!”

I found this from my Safari, I thought it humerous.:-

26 August 2023; Dateline Zambezi Delta, Mozambique -
Disney fans everywhere are in mourning at the passing of popular animal actor, Perceval D. Warthog III (6 July 1967-26 August 2023), more commonly known as ‘Pumba’ from the Disney classic ‘The Lion King’.
Percy came from a distinguished warthog acting family. His first role as a hoglet was with his Grandhog Percy I in the 1960s series ‘Tarzan’ with Ron Ely. He was then a regular in the Chuck Conners TV show ‘A Cowboy in Africa’.
After Percy’s meteoric rise to fame in ‘The Lion King’, he was known to have substance abuse issues.
He was a regular compatriot of actor Charlie Sheen in the early 2000s LA nightclub scene, where his popular song ‘Hakuna Matata’ made him a hit with the California ‘sows’.
He was even rumored to have been a regular at Hunter Biden’s parties, but when his ‘Lion King’ money was depleted, he fell on hard times.
Friends say he went home to Mozambique to clean up his act in perpetration for ‘The Lion King XIII; The revenge of Scar’s Transgender Son’.
Witnesses on the scene say he was performing his signature song ‘Hakuna Matata’, and was just beginning his ‘Shuffle off to Buffalo’ when an American hunter took his life. His last words were “Hakuna Matat…”
When asked why, the Hunter replied “I hate that damn song, my kids wore out two video tapes of ‘The Lion King’.”
When asked for a statement for all of Percy’s fans, the Hunter replied “Hakuna Matata… Bitches.”

Percy’s estranged partner, Timon D. Meerkat, couldn’t be reached for a statement before press time.

——////——-

We were driving along a ‘Pan’, when the strains of ‘Hakuna Matata’ could be heard.
I said “Oh Hell No!” and tapped my man Brasil.
He quickly ‘glassed’ the situation, and slapped the truck cab to notify Rye to stop.
Rye jumped out and began looking himself.
“A big one! Really good!” Brasil said in his language.
Rye looked through his binoculars.
“I don’t see a damn Sable!”
“No Rye,” I said. “Listen.”

“It’s a worry free
Philosophy!
Hakuna Matata!”

“The warthog? Brasil, I thought you were talking about a Sable!”
We had been looking for a Sable for MBB.
Rye looked at me, and I said “I hate that damn song, I have to make it stop!”
Brasil jumped down, and I climbed down.
Brasil solemnly reached into my soft rifle case and withdrew the big double-barrel .470 NE.
I broke it open, withdrew two of the massive .470 rounds out of my belt, and dropped them in their respective chambers.
I made sure the boomstick was on safe.
I carried the big 13 lb rifle in my right hand by the wrist of the stock,
barrels straight up to the sky.
We began the stalk.
As we got close, some of the other hogs present took off.
Not this one; he was too busy doing his damn routine.
The sticks were set, the massive double rifle’s barrels were gently laid in the ‘U’.
“Whenever you are ready,” Rye whispered.
“I’m going to ‘slap’ him as he begins his ‘Shuffle off to Buffalo’ and make sure he arrives,” I said.
Taking up slack in the front trigger slowly. As soon as he started the ‘Shuffle’, I squeezed the trigger the last millimeter.
The 500gr .470 projectile ripped through his left side just behind the shoulder, and exited his right shoulder.
He ran a short distance, uttered a final “Hakuna Matat” and expired.
“And Disney can kiss my Black ass!” I exclaimed.
Brasil said something to Rye.
“Brasil is skeptical that you have a ‘Black ass’.” Rye said with a grin.
“Oh, it’s just a figure of speech Brasil!”
Brasil and Binko busted out laughing.
I love Binko’s laugh, that’s why they call him ‘Binko’.

—-///—-

My hunt is done, we are kicking back until Monday when we leave for Joburg.

On a serious note, I did the old hog a favor, he was in the process of starving to death.
His teeth were so bad, he could only eat new green shoots of grass that appear only after a Pan has been burned. He was so hungry, he didn’t notice the other hogs flee.
I bequeathed unto him ‘The Death of Socrates’.
His suffering ended.
He was so thin, you could see his spine.
88 yds, 500gr .470 NE HP, 4x scope.
Classic quartering shot.

And yes, I’m wearing my shades, I forgot to take them off to shoot.
Didn’t matter…