A left-handed compliment

We’ve been trying to walk every day since the weather broke.
We’ve walked every day this month, and today we walked a total of 4.5 miles.
I had to do something, my fat ass creeped up to 260 again

Fortunately we found a dog park, off an improved walking path, in which to park
The first time we walked this path we parked in a shopping center at one end. Evidently the shopping Centre doesn’t appreciate that and issued me a $55.00 ticket.
Not a real citation, one from the company that manages the parking. I could get towed or booted if I park on one of their properties again, if I don’t pay.
Yeah…
Right…
They don’t make a ‘Denver Boot’ that big, and you’d need a tractor trailer to tow the Dude. Not that I’ll use any of your lots again purposely.

Yesterday, as we returned to dog park from our walk, I hit the men’s room.
On my way back to the where the truck was parked, I walked by a group of 7-8 city or county maintenance men. Thier white work trucks with the seal, backed in, parked in a row. They appeared to be just finishing the loading up of tools and were bullshiting, when one noticed me.
He turned to the other gentleman and said
“That’s what I’m going to look like when I get ‘old’!”

I must be getting soft.
There was a time when I would have quipped
“Who you calling old motherfucker?!?”